The next 4 weeks were a blur of appointments and filled with fear as we researched online and gradually started to accept the diagnosis that I had just been given – Malignant Melanoma.
At the point of the operation on my back – which was rushed that day – all we knew was the mole had a Breslow depth of 4.5mm (later re-classified as 4.7mm). We believed in full that the team at Gloucester were doing right by me – finally the local NHS was doing something in my favour – acting quickly.
I have kept a journal & that has helped me go back through those days and weeks after the operation to remind myself of what happened & in what order.
On 21st June my Back stitches were removed – leaving the internal stitches. The scar line looked clean & straight – unfortunately there did follow a few weeks of backwards & forwards to the Nurses at my local GP’s when first they left in the odd stitch & then a Doctor tried to pull a stitch only to be stopped by another doctor who said it was an internal stitch & to leave it there to dissolve on its own!
On Friday 21st I was also informed by Daisy my Macmillian nurse that not only did my mole have a Breslow depth of 4.7 but it was Ulcerated & had a high Mitotic rate. Ulcerated means was the dermis layer of skin penetrated – so did the Melanoma break through the bottom of the mole & into the skin below – yes – this is bad because obviously once the dermis is broken the ability to spread increases dramatically.
My Melanoma Mitosis figure was also bad – very bad.
Mitosis or Mitotic rate is the rate at which the cells, split or divide & re-grow. This is measured as a number per 1 sqmm – and they consider 4 per 1 sq/mm as worrying.
The Mitotic rate for my mole was 10 per 1 sq mm.
To say we are devastated & frightened is an understatement.
My family all cry, my children look bewildered (we have not told them anything) as to why Daddy has suddenly developed Hay Fever…”poor daddy”!
So we are told that having 1 Bad figure is a concern, 2 is a worry and 3 is not good at all….great – I fit into the “not good category”…..story of my life!!! (yes there is that Dodgy sense of humour again)