Sounds dramatic….needs music…da da dahhhhhh!!!!!!!
(did you do it!!)
The message is clear, I am starting 2014 with a positive mental attitude.
I have had a lovely Christmas break with my family, completed by a fantastic New Years Eve.
Last year before Melanoma reared it’s ugly head we were at my brothers house for New Years Eve…we saw the London Fireworks on TV. We thought they looked amazing & said that one day we would go and be there watching them explode.
Before Christmas, and in all honesty during the first part of the holidays as well, I was feeling blue. I was apprehensive about 2014 and what it would bring….would it bring a return of Melanoma….when I say return I don’t mean it is gone…I mean that right at this precise moment in time I feel healthy – I am not currently battling with hospitals & the NHS, or undertaking various tests with a hope of getting onto a clinical trial.
I have been advised that the likelihood of my getting onto any trial at the moment & potentially (depending on the drug itself) I might not meet any level of eligibility – because of those pesky flat lesions / polyps in my colon.
I am a member of a support group in the UK for Melanoma sufferers & their immediate family members. Just before Christmas several “Mates” lost their battles, and unfortunately several more were fighting hard. Many of these journeys have been long but some have progressed through the stages at rapid rates. Trials are not always (as I have found out) available for everyone, drugs sometimes have to be fought for – even when the disease progresses. Each and every outcome is unique.
I was quite frankly scared.
I needed the New Year be marked.
I wanted to send away 2013 and see in a fresh start.
So fearful of rainstorms preventing the event we set off for London….The Mr, The little people & me.
With my Aunt in tow we found our way at Lambeth bridge in London (1 bridge down from the main event) & saved ourselves a great spot on the riverside with a perfect view straight up river to Big Ben & the London Eye.
The rain held off & the display was everything we wanted it to be & more. I cried with excitement & relief. The buzz & warm atmosphere were electric. The little people stayed awake & loved it as much as we did. Eyes sparkled & twinkled as much as the lights in the sky.
I loved it!
I made New Year’s resolutions…..to not let the small things in life stress me as much as they have……to work harder to keep up my superfoods eating plan…..to be more physically active….and to see more of the people that I want to see more of & not just plan to make plans to see them!
I have put up a Calendar in the kitchen & entered the 3 “medical” appointments onto it that are already on the system.
I am ready & I will be fit, and healthy – body & soul for whatever twists and loops this rollercoaster chooses to take.
I feel the fight in me again….I hadn’t lost it…..just misplaced it.