I would love to say that I am stress free – stress is bad for me isn’t it – but in fairness I spent the week before the results gradually getting more tense….as the whole idea of “what if” started to take over from the original point of having the SLNB in the first place.
As my movement increased so did a rather odd sensation in my right shoulder – sort of a cross between numbness and tingling – like pain – but manageable – So I added that little worry to my list of worries I would mention to The Surgeon on Thursday.
I had a lovely trip out on the Sunday in Figgy with The Mr & the little people. The sun was out so down went the roof, on went the sunnies, up went the volume & we all sang along to Muse as we pootled along country lanes scaring the cows with our combined screeching!
Thursday comes along & we got stuck in traffic, cue a phone call to Carole (The Surgeon’s secretary) who said simply “tell Figgy to go faster!” …gotta love it when the people looking after you read your Blog!
We arrive (late), and are called into a room by a young man & lady in the standard Macmillan nurse uniform….uh oh!!!…..it was that moment when your heart sinks & you prepare yourself for bad news & a chat with a counsellor….
“The Man” was Mr Fadi Issa a surgeon on Dr Cassell’s (The Surgeon’s) team…and he had the pleasure of showing me a yellow piece of paper informing us of No Evidence of Disease (cancer cells) in the Sentinel Node…..and breathe……I can tell you his name now, because I emailed Carole to ask her – but I truly didn’t have a clue who I met with – the only name I took from yesterday was Ma Hong (the Macmillan nurses name) – I literally sat down a bag of nerves, got told there was nothing in the Node & then from that point onwards it all went a bit fuzzy (note to self – next time write down names of consultants so I don’t have to rely on The Surgeon’s efficient secretary!)
So….panic “a” over which allowed me to enter that space in my head with the list of worries….the numbness/ tingling should go after 2-3 months & is a temporary side effect from the nerves in my armpit effectively being twanged like a rubber band during the SLNB.
I then have an examination from The Man & Ma Hong…I point out a swollen lymph node (from the worry list) in my groin & The Man suggests an ultrasound is booked to check it out in more detail.
Get this – no stitches – I haven’t seen under the brown tape that covers the scars ( I was told to leave it on)….so I naturally assumed there would be stitches that need to be removed, as with all my previous excisions – but no – the stitches are all internal & the brown tape is used by plastic surgeons to secure the skin on the outside & keep the wound infection free.
The Man starts to look at my moles & probably lost count …so he zooms off to get an expert, Mr Wobble (nickname to be explained shortly) aka Dermatologist Dr Richard Turner……now……please allow a moment to visualise this…..there I am, in my undies (matching set) in a small room with the 2 doctors, Ma Hong & a dermatoscope passed from one to the other – “look at this mole”…”try this one – No, that one is boring” …”this is a classic compound nevi”……the whole time being asked to turn, move, twist etc…..so…. I am lying there…turning from my back onto my front & half way through said manoeuvre I am asked to stop, & freeze in an un-natural sideways plank & Mr Wobble utters the line “ooohhh….look at the wobble on that”….now don’t get me wrong…I don’t suffer with massive body dismorphia (lie) & I am totally happy in my skin (lie)…but really…I am practically starkers – not the time to mention wobbles!!!!
On my leg just behind my knee is a small mole that contains a cell make-up on the inside that displays a wobble when the dermatoscope is pressed against it & moved – the cells “wobble”.
Anyway plans are made – in 2 weeks time I will have an ultrasound to review the lymph node from my groin – on the same day they will schedule an appointment for my moles to be photographed…in the meantime, that very minute, I am to head down to Dermatology theatre where Mr Wobble will take off a couple of moles that he doesn’t like the look of.
Churchill hospital does efficiency & department liaison very well!
In theatre I sit and watch (under local) as Mr Wobble takes away the offending new moles – one on my left shoulder & one on my left thigh. He uses a tool that is like a glorified & super sharp apple corer – it cuts a perfect circle, removing mole, mole root and a bit of tissue around. There is blood – lots of…. internal stitches to pull the sides together & the new scars are topped off with the “Plastics” brown surgical tape & a white protective bandage.
Obviously, today it hurts, but for now at least I feel a bit calmer…I can see that end goal of the Trial in my sights.
I know this doesn’t mean No cancer – this is Melanoma & this is here to stay…but every day is a new day, every mole taken away is one less that could come back and bite me.